truly Myndfcukd!

I woke up cursing my phone. The little seemingly indispensable electronic instrument was the tormentor.

It was Raghav.

“Raghav ! What the hell fella! Did someone die?”

“Dumbhead! Its almost noon”, said Raghav in that typical accent of his.

Raghav and I were schoolmates for over seven years and then had to move out to different cities for college. People said we made a good pair together. People said that we probably were the finest of friends they had seen. People say many things though. The truth was that I never really liked Raghav. I hated him. No, it was more jealousy than hate.

He was all I ever wanted to be and more. He acted modest and all around me, but I could always see the smug look. The I-am-better attitude that he tried so hard to hide and did a very lousy job. He was all I ever wanted to be and more. He had Greek god looks, an athletic frame, could do magic with words and was great with people. He was successful in whatever he did. And I detested him for that. I never showed that though. After all, we were “friends” and he lets me use his car whenever I wanted it. He was extremely likeable though, and I liked him.

I looked at my watch. He was right. As always. “Did you wake me up to tell that?”

“C’mon man!”he sounded excited and I told him so.

“Yes, I am and I need your help.”

“Kidding?? You need my help?”

“Yes.” He sounded eager.

“OK Raghav. Shoot!”

“She’s joining your college!”He blurted.

“Who is ’she’?… Oh! Wait a minute!!”

He hung up after seven more minutes. Here was the Raghav asking me for help. This is going to be interesting. It was about Anjali.

****

I was walking down the road, feeling lonely, but not without company. Twilight. The sun, a gigantic red ball to my right. The sky, the color of dried indigo. I felt a drop fall on my right shoulder, an inch from the maroon stripe, I had so very liked when I had bought the orange shirt three months earlier. I looked up at the sky, my eyelid closing just in time to stop the falling rain drop from reaching my eye, but not before I noticed the water drop falling down from the sky. A free fall. A free, careless fall. I loved the rain. I do. I loved every moment of it. My clothes were soaked. I was drenched to the bone. The wind was chilly. I shivered. I looked around embarrassed, but happy that no one had seen me shiver. I loved the rain. I do. I was now walking along a tree lined avenue, 60 ft wide. My companions had since left me for cover. I was now alone, but not lonely when I had suddenly realized that I had lost my way. I was scared. The rain no longer seemed inviting. I wanted company. I needed company.

“Lost?” a voice had asked. “You look pale.”

I turned.

“You look new to this place. Here let me take walk you to your hostel, if you do not mind sharing my umbrella.”

I could not talk. I went with him.

He talked. He was trying his best to make me feel comfortable. I could hardly talk.

“Careful and do not get yourself lost again.” He said when we had reached the hostel, “I may not be around every time.” He smiled.

“I’ll leave. Goodnight.” He turned to go.

He had a beautiful smile and beautiful eyes. He somehow reminded me of Raghav.

“What is your name?” I asked. Probably the first sensible sentence I spoke to him.

“Agastya” He answered and walked away.

It took a few more meetings for us to be friends. We are good friends now and can talk of most things under the sun. I told him about my mother, who had died a few months earlier. I told him about Raghav. I told him that I really had liked a boy back home. I didn’t tell him the name though. That was my little secret. He said that it was now too late to expect any contact from Raghav. He made sense.

I felt happier with him around. He made it easier to stop thinking of mother. He made it easier to stop thinking about all the lost days. All the days of pain.

“You should move on,” he had said quite a few times “from thinking about people who were to people who are.”

I still do not understand those words. I still do not know if he was talking about my mother or about Raghav. I think I should and I think I’m in love with the one that made me happy, again. Though, he can never be what Raghav was. I believe I should tell him before I lose him like I lost Raghav.

****

Agastya has a way with girls. He always did. He is a wonderful friend too, my best. The first time I met him nearly ten years ago, he came out as an introvert with charm. He still is.

I day I knew that Anjali was joining his college; I woke him up at noon and asked him if he would help. The wonderful person that he is, he promised me he would talk to her and would try to find out if she was still, if ever interested in me.

Seventeen minutes to go before I can call him up.

He kept me informed the whole time. He had met her for the first time on a rainy day. He had talked to her after that and soon he was told me about her mother. I knew Agastya was doing well; If Anjali could tell him about her mother, she wouldn’t be very far from telling him about her love interest. I said the same to Agastya. He said he would pose an indirect question about me today.

I called his number.

“Hello Raghav!”

“Hey Agastya….”

“How is college going fella?”

“Did you ask her?”

“Yes… I did, today at the cafeteria.”

“And…”

“I do not think so Raghav. She told me she was in love…with someone else.”

******