Suddenly, everyone wants to know my future plans. After hours of focused thinking in the time I must have been attending classes, eating food, working on my BTP, playing on the institute football team, going out with my girl ( okay. I made up the last two), I have developed custom replies to the question depending upon the ‘type’ of people who ask the question.

Type one: People I know at college who already have a job.

Most of this kind are generally bursting at the seams with lots of advice on how to go about getting a job and how the job they landed was actually tailor-made for them. They know that I havent started applying yet.

The question: “A lot of good companies are coming for recruitment. You should apply soon and get yourself a job. Why are you not applying? What are you going to do?”

The reply: “It is my sincere belief that one should do only what interests him and not do something because he has to do something. In other words, it is not all about making a living. it is about living. I know what I want to be doing or so I think and I’ll do only the thing I want to be doing and nothing else.”

Type two: People I know at college who dont have a job yet.

Even these know I havent applied yet.

The question: “Everyone else is getting placed. will we land a good job? What are you going to do?”

The reply: “I am not too keen on working so soon. Am just twenty for god’s sake and mom has promised she wouldn’t let dad throw me out of the house for two more years atleast. So am not in a hurry. also, my grandfather has bought me three hundred acres of farmland. See, I dont need to work unless I want to.”

Type three: friends from outside college.

The question: “Dude! What next?”

The reply: ” My all time dream is to own a hobby store. It’ll retail in books, music, movies, toys, adventure gear, etc. I ultimately hope to build a chain of such stores. Am looking for sponsors or partners for my enterprise. Till that time that I find enough capital, I may work with some shit software place. “

Type four: some person I meet at a cousin’s marriage or a family get-together

1. sub-type one: these are prospective mothers-in-law or fathers-in-law or some close relative of a prospective in-law. mom has warned me to be wary when talking to them. One wrong utterance and my value in the marriage market plummets.

   The question: “when are you leaving for america?”

   The answer: “very soon.”

2. sub type two: similiar to sub-type one , but only more urbane (read staying in the city) and educated.

   The question: ‘”What are your future plans, sandeep? Heard you didn’t get through CAT. Are you interested in going to the US?”
   The reply: I am looking at a business proposition that I believe will earn me more here than I can earn working someplace in the US. also, i’ll have to study for two more years if I were to work in the US. I think i have nothing more to learn going to a college in order to earn. My grandfather is also against the idea of me working under someone. So am looking at few definitely lucrative enterprises. Afterall, there are no limits to what I can earn working for myself. If you are interested, I can talk to you about a perfectly safe investment opportunity.

3. sub-type three: People with delusions of having seen it all. generally people whose c grade engineering college educated son has made it big in the US.

   The question: ” The prospects for IIT grads is very good in the US. What with the 50 rupees to a dollar exchange rate. you dont need the money, you grandfather has earned enough for you, but it is a very good idea to work there rather than this corruption ridden place. People appreciate talent there unlike here. How long do you plan to work in the US?”
   ( for gosssake, what made you pressume I am going to the US?)

   The reply: I have a girl friend who happens to be an American citizen. So I think I’ll become an American myself and live in the land of opportunity. Don’t worry about my parents. I’ll take them along. yes, my mother likes the girl and my father likes the girl’s father. no its not settled yet, I haven’t told them about it. You are the first person I’m telling this to.

Type five: mom and dad.

The question: ” Do you atleast know yourself what you want to do? One has to have a plan to succeed in life. see how X ( a cousin) is now happily settled. thats because he had a plan and worked for it. And Y’s son ( dad’s colleauge) has already sent home 50 lakh rupees. He graduated only three years ago and he joined college paying a donation. Z ( some relative) has already bought a house in Chennai for his son with the money that the son sent. P’s daughter ( a distant relative. same age as mine) is ready to leave for the US. Q’s daughter ( another of them) has decided to wrok in IT in India. R’s daughter ( another one) is doing an MBA. are you even listening? I have been telling you all your life. you need a plan to succeed. The past twenty years is one chapter of life. You are now old enough to know better. You could atleast have written GRE. You didnt listen to me. you placed all your eggs in one basket and the CAT basket is gone. What do you want to do?”

The reply: I dont know, dad. I need more time to think. I dont want to jump the gun and ……

dad: “dont start the same stupid reason again” and walks away in apparent indignation. My mom comes closer, hugs me and makes me my favorite sweet.

Type six: My grandfather, his brothers etc.

The question: There are no questions, atleast no words. Am supposed to understand the question by the way he calls me or by the way he looks at me.

The reply: “thatha… I am not going to leave you all and go to some other country. I’ll stay here and take care of mother and father. I can earn a lot of money if I go to the US. But thatha… I’ll stay here and no I’ll not sell even an acre of our farms. I’ll be paid a lot of money even if I work in hyderabad. you know that I’ve had big education. yes, thatha I’ll buy as much more land as I can.”

thatha is impressed. hands me a bundle of notes from his box.

P.S. More types to be added as soon as I identify them.