truly Myndfcukd!

An attempt at continuing from where I stopped in the earlier post. The Hitchhiker’s Guide to IIT-Madras. Part-1
Demographics

The entrenched population was estimated at over 10,000 in 2003 while the total population is now estimated at over 14,000. Culturally, the institute is evenly divided between Telugus and the others which includes a visible population of the pale skinned. Telugu is the regional language of the institute, English the official language. Other languages spoken include Hindi, Marathi, Punjabi, Tamil, Kannada, Malayalam and a notoriously incomprehensible local version of English sometimes called the insti-lingo or simply the lingo that the old-timers are proud of. Bedtime stories are told about a very visible population of people, of desert origins, who used to immigrate to the institute in search of education. These people, called the DASAs, had their own distinct culture, eating habits, smoking habits, spending habits and language very different from other languages spoken in this region.

Culture and Religion

The institute has been the meeting place of many different cultures and traditions. Historically, the Institute has been where the distinct cultural and linguistic traditions of North Indian, Bengali, Marathi, Telugu, Tamil and Mallu peoples met. Needless to say, the place is a motley kedgeree of cultures. “Machcha, the cupper chut fucked me hazar da” is a typical refrain that uses, at the last count, six languages. Tamil, English, Hindi, Urdu, American and the lingo.

The institute is a unique cosmopolitan society and home to people practicing Hinduism, Islam, Christianity, Atheism, Self-theism and a quarter of the world’s population of Jains. The institute has developed its own distinctive culture, which is a mixture of the centuries old south Indian culture, the Muslim culture, the hippie culture, the culture of American sitcoms, stand-up comedies, free porn and Japanese animation. Truly world class.

Clothing

People of all cultures and faith communities in the institute typically wear the traditional institute dress to college - unlaundered torn jeans and an IIT Madras t-shirt with rubber slippers. Each pair of slippers typically sees three different pairs of feet in a week. This is one of the more visible cultural attributes of IIT Madras. One’s position on the social ladder is determined by the oldest IIT Madras T-shirt he owns. As a sign of public modesty and symbolically sticking to Gandhian principles, a large percentage of people in the institute wears minimal clothing. A legend talks of naked soirées at the onset of spring to test people’s self-control. However, this is now considered a myth.

Shoulder length hair has always been popular among both the male and female (this term is disputed) students. Those who consider themselves male sport a distinguishing beard.

Accommodation

The students live in hostels with colorful names like Mandakini, Godavari, Cauvery etc. One of the newest hostels is called the Tamarabharani and is by far the most colorful official name for a hostel. There are two separate hostels for the female(this term is disputed) students.

All the older hostels follow a set pattern. Sixteen rooms in a row, a break, and sixteen more rooms. That kind of a thing. The thirty two rooms form a wing. Each wing has another wing facing it on the other ‘block’. A block is three wings one on top of the other, four in some hostels. The two blocks are connected by the ‘freshie wings’ and common hall at one end and the old mess hall on the other. The ‘freshie wings’ have triple sleeper rooms and are normally exclusively for the first year students. Ten rooms to a freshie wing. thirty two to the other wings, all with brown doors and windows. Forms a rectangle. The common hall is now divided into three parts- the one with the TV where people watch cricket, soccer, F1 or women’s tennis games; the one with the TT table where people can play while watching cricket, soccer, F1 or women’s tennis games; the one with the computers which the adminstrator has rigged so that people can do nothing beyond browse the internet which is a terrible waste of the 1GB RAM that the computers boast of. This part is air-conditioned and is generally well utilised by people playing business, monopoly, ludo, chess, sleep-sleep etc. On top of the common hall are the freshie wings. And opposite to this block is what used to be the mess hall.

The Institute has a guest house for the visitors. From time to time, a rumor is floated that rooms in this guest house can be booked by the students for their visitors. The easiest way to find accommodation will be to befriend a insti local and convince him/her to share a room. Also, there are no ‘decent’ hotel rooms in a five km radius around the insti.

The institute has a beautifully designed structure to house the various mess halls. The mess managers are very modest people and with reason. Period. Various alternative food joints are available in the vicinity. Several take-away joints also thrive on the institute population. Smoking and drinking are officially banned inside the institute. The watering holes of the city are very popular with the student community but not vice-versa. Please check with the insti locals for the in-pub-of-the-day.

The institute follows the Pacific Standard Time to the south of the OAT and Indian Standard Time to the North of it. This leads to considerable problems and is a cause of friction between the administrators and the administered. You may judiciously choose your standard time depending on local conditions.

Markets and Shopping Malls

The institute has two shopping centers which cater to the needs of the students and residents. The Students’ Facilities Centre (SFC) located opposite the Narmada hostel has the following:

Departmental Store (Gurunath Stores), a pattiserie (Gurunath pattiserie), Dry-cleaner (Gurunath Dry-cleaner), Tailor (Gurunath Tailors), Hair-cutting Saloon ( Gurunath Hair-cutting Saloon) , Xerox Shop (Gurunath Xerox Shop) ,Telecom Center(Gurunath Telecom Center) and a Gift store (Gurunath Gift Store). The SFC for an inexplicable reason is more frequently referred to as “Gurunath” in the insti lingo. If you are looking to buy souvenirs of IIT Madras, just visit the Gurunath gift store. No one is ever likely to forget (read forgive) any gift that you buy them from here.

Media
IIT Madras has a well-developed communication and media infrastructure. The insti is covered by a large network of optical fiber cables. The institute has its own EPABX telephone network. There are several mobile phone companies that cater to the population needs. But, solely due to the tree cover, the mobile signals are not always available. Hutch (now Vodafone) and Airtel are the local favorites.

IIT Madras may have it’s own FM Radio station in the future.

IIT Madras has about three print media groups that publish several magazines in English. The major magazines include The Fourth Estate, Bharathi and Reflections. Due to the advent of American porn and Japanese animation, the respective editors are the only ones reading the magazines, sometimes.

(To Be Continued…)