If I had been any smarter or if I could go back 15 years, I would pretend to be dumb and would have been happy now being Andy (or Dave, if you please) from Tech support instead of trying to build exotic derivatives/ digging borewells instead of borel fields / mixing martinis instead of martingales and regular brownian motion would still have meant all is well with my digestive system.

Yes, hindsight is a bitch.

I assume you must be preparing to leave. I cannot but admire your stoical acceptance of the impending end. We humans never seem to be able to undermine our sense of permanence. I apologize  for my kind’s failure to give you a decent farewell. We tend to make a spectacle of the new and hold nothing but contempt for the old.

It is said among my kind that when the time to leave comes, the whole life flashes in front of our eyes. I trust you’ll excuse my small minded arrogance to assume that your association with me is worth a blip in your flash.

It seems as yesterday that you demurely welcomed me into your arms under the cloud of ecstasy and bottomless Indian made foreign spirits. As our acquaintance grew, so did my liking for you. I lent myself to positive reinvention even as there were times I wished you would outlive me.

Thank you for moving on when I was consumed by impotent fury. Thank you for tripping on life with me. Thank you for teaching me to fly with clipped wings. Thank you for the dreams made, the love found, the barriers breached,the places reached, the scars and the smiles. Thank you for leaving me a better man than you found.

I love you.

An adventurous Polish toddler was found trying to check in for a flight after making a 15-mile journey to an airport on his own.

Three-year-old Mikolaj Sobolewski unlocked the front door of his parents’ home and got onto a bus from a stop outside their house to take him to Okecie airport in Warsaw.

He was only grounded when police spotted him in the departure lounge.

Ananova reports.

If I were a good writer, I would have written a thousand page tome extolling the beauty of Charlie, the Unicorn. I’m so totally smitten by it. I am, I proclaim, the M.F.Hussain of this Madhuri; the Meerabai of this Krishna. Charlie, the Unicorn is truly the Sgt Peppers LHC of animated short films. There is absolutely no sane reason for this not having won an Oscar that doesn’t involve the judges not being potheads. This, my dear friend, is art of the highest standard. High Art, if you please. This is a humble attempt to take it from the confines of the dumb elite to the intellectual masses.

One: The Beginning

One innocent summer evening as I lay day dreaming of candy mountains with slightly glazed eyes and immense love for everything green and unmoving, a friend (I can never thank you enough) directed me to a youtube video that was soon to change my outlook towards everything around me. Love was not what I felt for it the first time, it was disgust. I was disgusted. I questioned the intelligence of the parents and grandparents of the people who gave this video 22 million views. I truly, madly, deeply felt ashamed of mankind. I dismissed it as another example of the ridiculousness of the elite few.

Two: The Middle-1

I do not know if Freud explained this, but I have this theory that subconsciously humans are wired to be piqued by disgust – Just like one cannot help taking a second look at an unbearably ugly face. This theory pretty much explains why I turn heads wherever I go. But there is more to it, this alone can explain what happened with respect to Charlie and me. Being disgusted by the video, I watched it a second time. Then another time, then another, then another, then another… till I fell in love with it.

Three: The Middle-2

For a while, I failed to grasp why this particular video was holding the addiction of thousands of highly intelligent people like myself. Many hours of intellectual self-pleasure did not help. My good friend whispered something conspiratorially and suddenly, everything began to make sense. It is about drugs, he said plainly, with no twinkle in his eye.

Four: The End

Whatever (il)logical reasons my friends may come up with, there is consensus that this video is high art. Art of the kind that the dumb elite has tried to keep away from us intellectual masses. To protest against this elitism and to open the doors of such elite art to the deprived masses of intelligent men (and women. chuckle), I pledge to make this video popular among the mainstream masses.

***

Presenting Ladies and Gentlemen, for your viewing pleasure – Charlie, The Unicorn

If you are elite enough to appreciate high art, do visit to buy original Charlie Merchandise!

Be sure to check out How Charlie you are!

More fan resources coming soon!

We have arguably the best T20 lineup amongst the teams. We have great cricketers in good measure and for entertainment, we have the world’s costliest monkey on board.  Try beating us.

Go Chargers!

I hang my head in shame. At that moment, I chose to keep still. If he wanted an answer, he’d have to come back, and he did.

“Is it all over?”, The green one’s tone carries a hint of urgency and amusement.

I wish I could stare him out of existence. I forget I only need to think him out.

He asks me if I am all right and I just stare. I don’t want to know the answer. I don’t want to.

Only need to think him out. Only need to think him out.

Now, when the day goes to sleep and the full moon looks
The night is so black that the darkness cooks
Don’t you come creeping around – making me do things I don’t want to.

Only need to think him out. Only need to think him out.
Can’t seem to think him out. Can’t seem to think him out

The green one is out to get my answer. He is out to ride my demons. He
is out for my love.

Can’t believe that you need my love so bad
Come sneaking around trying to drive me mad
Busting in on my dreams – making me see things I don’t wanna see.

He is my dreamer. I succumb to him. He is my deceiver.
He gets his answer. He leaves me to cry.

Cause you’re the green manalishi with the two prong crown
All my trying is up – all your bringing is down
Just taking my love then slipping away
Leaving me here just trying to keep from following you.